Refusing extra help is something that almost every aging adult goes through at some point. When your elderly family member doesn't want extra help from you or from other people, these tips can get you to a solution.
Assess What Is Behind the Refusal
Sometimes a refusal of help looks one way on the surface, but it's more complicated underneath. Your elderly family member may feel that accepting help is the first on a slippery slope to no longer having control over her own life. If fear is what's behind the refusal, you'll have to approach a solution differently than you would if what's going on is that she honestly wants to do something on her own.
Is There a Logical Reason for the Refusal?
When your senior turns down extra help, is there a bit of logic to her reasoning? If there is, you might need to explore that a little further. You can both have a logical reason for your perspective on this issue and it doesn't mean that either of you is necessarily right or wrong. But if she's making her decisions based on emotions rather than what logically makes sense that can be a recipe for trouble.
Really Listen to What She's Telling You
If your senior isn't feeling heard, whether she's responding logically or not, that's not going to help her to want to see your point of view. Listen to what your senior is telling you and to what is behind those words. Repeat what you're hearing back to her and verify what you're hearing. When you do that, you're going to help her to feel heard and validated, which is crucial for everyone.
Talk with Her Doctor
It's a good idea to talk with your doctor when you're having trouble coming to an agreement about how much help she needs. Your senior's doctor can look further into whether she's experiencing cognitive difficulties that are getting in the way of what you're trying to achieve. Her doctor can also help to assess whether she really needs the help.
Does She Really Need the Help?
The bottom line is whether your elderly family member truly needs the help or not. One way to find out for sure is to hire home care providers and give them a real try. Your senior might be resistant to the idea still, but reinforce that this is a trial run. She may find their services much handier than she thought.
Getting to a compromise may be easier than either of you think when you approach the problem from a different perspective. You might have to back off a little bit from insisting on helping your senior more, but she may have to make some concessions toward being more accepting of a helping hand, too.
IF YOU OR AN AGING LOVED-ONE ARE CONSIDERING HOME CARE SERVICES IN ZEBULON, NC, PLEASE CONTACT THE CARING STAFF AT SENIORS HELPING SENIORS TODAY. CALL (919) 761-5346.